Season 5, Episode 3 - "The Accurate Conception"
Blanche's daughter, Rebecca, comes to visit, and Blanche is thrilled they're bonding over conversation. During breakfast on the lanai, they both agree to tell each other everything—no more secrets. What surprising news does Rebecca tell her mother?
She's having a baby by artificial insemination.
Blanche: Ah, you know, I think this is the best visit we've ever had.
Rebecca: I think it's because you've realized I'm a grown woman.
Blanche: Well, I never thought the day would come, but we are finally the same age. Why don't you stay longer?
Rebecca: Oh, Mama, I can't stay, because...we're telling each other everything, right?
Blanche: Everything! No more secrets.
Rebecca: Oh, good! Mama...I'm getting impregnated on Monday. I've decided the best thing for me is to go to a sperm bank and get artificially inseminated.
Blanche: Why would you do something like this? Just to hurt me?
Rebecca: Mama, try to understand. I can't pass a carriage without looking in. I heard my biological clock ticking so loudly, it was keeping me up at night. A baby should be doing that.
Blanche: Well, why don't you wait 'til you get married?
Rebecca: I don't want to get married.
Blanche: Well, then at least wait until I'm dead.
Rebecca: You really mean that!?
Blanche: Yes, I do! And wait until all my friends are dead, too. The last thing I need is whispering at my funeral.
Rebecca: I can't believe you're reacting like this! We got so close this past week, I thought I could tell you anything.
Blanche: Anything but this!
Rebecca: Well, Mama, I'm gonna do this whether you like it or not.
Blanche: Oh! Oh, I see, Missy. So this is the thanks I get for all those cold nights when you were a baby crying? And I'd have to get up out of bed, and grope around in the dark for my slippers and robe, make my way all the way downstairs, and scream for the governess!
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